Diabetogenic

A COVID-19 food post not about banana bread

April 20, 2020 in Diabetes, Real life | 2 comments

I know that the last thing anyone needs right now is someone else writing about what they have been eating, cooking and baking during lockdown. I think that my Instagram feed is about 75% banana bread at the moment, which is of no interest to be as I don’t like bananas. About 20% is sourdough starters, because suddenly everyone is an artisanal baker, ready to throw down a challenge to the likes of Lionel Poilâne. (Poilâne died in the early 2000s, so probably won’t rise to the challenge. There’s a bread pun in there…)

So, I feel that this post about food really isn’t necessary, except that even when not in lockdown, I spend a lot of time focussing on food. I like to blame my Italian family for it, but I think it’s just that I love everything food has to offer. From planning, shopping, prepping, cooking, serving up and then eating, the whole process is one that I love.

And so, I’m sharing some of my most recent baking and cooking efforts, mostly because I am a lazy baker and cook. By that I mean that I look for the simplest of recipes that will yield the most impressively delicious results. This means that those who I share my food with think that I am far more expert that I really am. I’m not ready to correct those misconceptions yet.

Baking

My current baking output is out of control at the moment. In normal, non-pandemic times, I bake cookies and biscuits every Sunday, so the kid has something sweet to take in her lunchbox and share with friends. I post pics of the end product (and a timelapse cooking video) on my socials with the hashtag #AndOnSundaysWeBake. Occasionally, I may bake something another day during the week.

All bets are off in the time of COVID-19 and so I needed a new hashtag: #AndOnEveryFuckingDayWeBake is far more accurate in these extraordinary times. The neighbours have been getting deliveries on their doorsteps, and I’ve discovered small batch baking, or become super-efficient at halving recipes to make just enough for one morning tea, or after dinner treat.

I rarely follow recipes – I just make things up as I go along. But I’ve tried to find similar receipts along the way just in case you suddenly have a burning desire to get in the kitchen and create.

Amaretti

Literally a ten minute back up resulting in delicious and fancy biscuits. You can use any citrus or other flavouring. These ones were orange. Similar recipe can be found here.

Apple, cinnamon and walnut bread

Banana bread can go fuck itself, but give me a decent apple bread any time! Add cinnamon and you are halfway to curing your diabetes. And everyone knows that walnuts are a superfood (bullshit), so really, this loaf should be found in a fancy, overpriced health food café. Similar recipe can be found here.

Focaccia

I bake bread now. And this focaccia was sublime. I’ve made it a few times to serve with whatever soup I’ve had cooking on the stove all day. Similar recipe here.

Sparkly cupcakes

When your neighbours celebrate a special anniversary while in lockdown, it’s compulsory to make them cupcakes that sparkle in the sunlight. Nigella’s basic cupcake recipe never fails.

Brownies

And more from Nigella. Here, her emergency brownies can be knocked up, and out of the oven ready for you to eat in half an hour. Put the kettle on. Recipe here.

Cornflake biscuits

This is a pretty good pantry staple item recipe. All crunchy and crispy and downright delicious with an afternoon cuppa. Similar recipe here.

Anything citrus

If it’s got lemon, orange or lime in it, you can bet I want to make it.

I’m calling these biscotti all’arancia e cocciolato and they look rather impressive. But really, they’re just orange shortbread dipped in chocolate, but jeez they tasted great! Similar recipe here.

Did I mention I love lemon? This cake is a lemon loaf, with lemon syrup and then lemon drizzle because triple the lemon is always the best. Similar recipe here.

But possibly my favourite was this mandarin loaf which contains two whole mandarins thrown into the food processor for the most intense mandarin-y flavour and then more mandarin zest and juice in the icing. Similar recipe here (just replace the orange with mandarins).

Cooking

A combination of weather cooling down, the day getting darker earlier and the whole lockdown thing has meant that I’m looking for foods that are comforting, and take ages to cook, just sitting on the stove for hours for their flavours to develop.

Sauces

Last week’s Bolognese sauce cooked for over six hours and then was decanted into take away containers for the freezer, the neighbours and that night’s lasagne. Find whichever bolognese recipe works for you. Just don’t add zucchini.

And the end of Summer signalled the end of our basil plants, so I whizzed all that was left up and made pesto. Even with the warmer weather becoming a distant memory, the taste of summer will still get a few more outings with the little oil-topped jars of verdant pesto goodness waiting in the fridge. No recipe, but basically, just add basil, parmesan, toasted pine nuts, garlic, salt and olive oil to food processor and blitz. Great to stir through pasta and veggies, or dollop on top of soups.

Pies

Look, it’s true that I made shepherd’s pie last week just so I could sing ‘A Little Priest’ while prepping it. But it was so worth it, because it tasted great! I wouldn’t even know where to start with a recipe, but I just sweated off some finely diced carrot, onion, celery and garlic added some lamb mince, stock, and simmered the crap out of it for a while. I then added other veggies that needed to be used up (some peas and corn) and then poured into a casserole and topped with mashed potato. Make swirly patterns on the potato and then crumble some panko crumbs over the top. Bake until all crunchy and bubbly and it looks like this:

And chicken pie is a perennial favourite around here. A little maths humour on top because I’m a nerd. Find whatever chicken pie recipe works for you!

Pasta e ceci

My kid has never, not once, never eaten pasta out of a can in her life, and yet, decided to tell me that my pasta e ceci which used Rustichella d’Abruzza Anellini looked like SpaghettiOs. I don’t really care, because it was beyond delicious and everyone had seconds. The recipe was from Smitten Kitchen.

So that’s how I’ve been spending my time in the kitchen. No banana bread to be found (I didn’t include the zucchini bread I baked, but that was wonderfully delicious slathered with soft salted butter), but lots of other things. We are all going about our lockdown experiences in ways that work best for us.

For me, that involves being around food. I guess a big part of it is wanting to nourish myself and my family because it’s something that I can do, and I know I can do it well. There is so much other uncertainty, but when I start to cook and bake something, I know exactly how it is going to turn out.

I have noticed that my reaction to hearing or reading something upsetting and stressful is to walk into the kitchen, open the pantry and start to load ingredients on the kitchen bench. I plug in my firetruck red Kitchenaid stand mixer, and off I go. ‘Nothing bad ever comes from creaming together butter and sugar’, I think to myself, as I become hypnotised by the paddle spinning around. My breathing slows down and my anxiety levels diminish. And cake! Soon there will be cake.

An appropriate way to celebrate 22

April 15, 2020 in Devices, Diabetes, Pumps, Real life | 3 comments

This morning I woke up, got myself organised for the day, headed to our local for our morning takeaway coffee. And then I ripped out my pump line on a door handle.

Which, all in all, seems like a pretty damn appropriate way to celebrate my twenty-second diaversary.

One day I might get good at diabetes. But I guess today is not that day.

Other diaversary posts

Roll up, roll up (your sleeves)

April 14, 2020 in Diabetes, Health | 1 comment

Last week, I had a drive thru flu shot because that’s the COVID-19 world we live in now.

My GP practice has a super-efficient process set up that involved a phone consult with my doctor earlier in the day, a time locked in for me to get my shot and clear instructions for what to do once I arrived in the practice’s car park.

At the appointed time, my GP called to confirm that I was there, instructed me to expose my right upper arm, and came out to the car park to jab my arm. I waited in the car for 15 mins and then drove off. It was clear, easy and safe.

We’re coming into flu season in the southern hemisphere, and if you haven’t already, now is the time for everyone to make plans for how and when to get your vaccination. In Australia, flu vaccines are free for all people with diabetes.

I know that some people are wondering why flu vaccine messages are still coming out so strongly even though we’re all meant to be physically isolating. It’s still important for a number of reasons. Obviously, we don’t want people to get COVID-19 AND the flu, and we don’t want people adding to the strain of what is likely to be an over-stressed health system.

Perhaps our physical distancing will have an impact on lowering numbers this year, (which would be great considering that over 300,000 people were diagnosed with the flu last year in Australia alone). But physical distancing is no guarantee that we won’t get infectious diseases such as COVID-19 or the seasonal flu. And that’s why we need to do all that we can to minimise the risk, and potential subsequent outcomes.

The message for those of us living with diabetes is the same when it comes to getting the flu as it does for getting COVID-19. We are probably not more likely to actually get either of them, but if we do, diabetes could complicate our recovery. Plus, managing diabetes with any sort of infection usually comes with a massive degree of difficulty.

The message is clear: get your flu shot. Encourage friends and family to get theirs. It really is the responsible thing to do.

On my mind…

April 7, 2020 in Real life | Leave a comment

Let’s not talk diabetes or COVID-19 for a minute, and instead talk about the things that have been occupying my mind, making me laugh or perplexed or weirded out over the last week or so.

This from Feel Good Eating’s Insta today struck a chord as I’ve been happily culling anyone who so much as hints at how disgusting the idea of eating more or putting on weight is during lockdown. Just stop it!

So, it turns out that I do need exercise, and walking is the way for me to clear my head. In the past, all the incidental walking I could get done in a day was enough for me, but unless I actually make an effort to get out, I feel all sludgy and blah at the end of the day. (I think they are technical terms.) As well as clearing my head, I’ve been enjoying the stunning last flushes of roses across people’s fence lines. Gorgeous way to re-calibrate when I need to.
I have new leopard print leggings and I don’t even know who I am anymore. I love them, they are super comfortable and I don’t care that my kid won’t even look at me she is so disappointed and embarrassed.
Baking bread is THE most therapeutic thing I have ever done. Check out this focaccia I made the other day to have with homemade roasted pumpkin soup…

Tiger King. Please talk to me about this. I have so, so many questions I need answered.
HOW DRY ARE YOUR HANDS???? I’ve gone old school and using Nivea Crème, (you know, the one that comes in flat blue tins), to try to combat the ridiculously dry hands that are the result of the constant hand washing/sanitising. It seems to work better than the Aesop hand cream I usually keep handy, (see what I did there?), because it’s thicker. Anyone else have something else that has been working like a charm?

Here’s something to read that’s NOT COVID-19 or diabetes related: My husband, the music nerd, has started a blog and it is excellent. You can read about music reviews, music theory, music instruments and gear, music history. Basically, all things music. You should check it out here.
For the love of all that is good, check what’s going on behind you before doing Zoom calls! Unknown to me, this is what was on display behind me for the first week of working from home…

I’ve never really been the crafting type; but making pom-poms is calming and a great way to decorate pretty much everything.
Effin’ Birds has all the COVID-19 messaging you need.

Searching for silence

April 1, 2020 in Real life | Leave a comment

I’m searching for silence. We’re lucky that we have enough space at home that we are not tripping over each other. We have outdoor areas to escape to where we can feel the warm sun on our faces, and can lock ourselves in different rooms when we need some space.

The noise in my head seems a lot harder to quieten. I have had to force myself to stop looking at COVID-19 data. As someone who generally avoids analysing my own diabetes numbers, I’ve suddenly become addicted to daily and weekly COVID-19 data. I have come to believe myself to be expert in statistics. (I’m really not. I don’t even really know what exponential means.)

Adding pandemic data to diabetes data is overwhelming in ways I never knew possible…

I’m avoiding a lot of online noise by not simply spending a lot less time there. I look for my peers online to see how they are and what they are sharing and saying. I avoid pretty much everything else – there seems to be so much needless chatter. I’m not really sure why some people in the diabetes world feel they have pivoted to infectious disease specialists. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is be silent, and not need to hear the sound of our own tweets…

We’ve been going for walks after dinner each night. Daylight saving ends this weekend, so that routine may need to change, but right now, it bookends the day nicely as we get some fresh air before we cocoon in for the night. Our usually bustling neighbourhood is quiet. Hardly any cars driving on the roads, far fewer people on the streets. Anyone taking their evening passeggiata keeps their distance and there is no stopping for anything more than a little wave.

The other night, as we walked, I took this photo. The timing was perfect, the setting sun lining up perfectly with one of the many laneways near our home – and inner-Melbourne version of Manhattanhenge. I stood there and snapped and listened. There was not a single sound. I breathed deeply. The world was silent. Perfectly, beautifully silent.

Keeping connected

March 31, 2020 in Community, DOC, Peer support | Leave a comment

Until about three weeks ago, I’d never seen the words ‘social’ and ‘distancing’ in the same sentence. And then, suddenly, we were all being urged to practise this new form of keeping away from people.

What became apparent very quickly, however, was that social distancing could very easily lead to social isolation and that is not what the aim of keeping away from others was all about. Rather, it was about being physically distant from others. No more physical hugging, or cheek kissing. No more pats on the back or hand shaking.

But stopping physical contact doesn’t mean becoming disconnected to people. In fact, if there was ever a time that we need to feel connected to people, it’s now. And for me, I have never needed my diabetes tribe more. I think that a number of others might just be in the same boat.

I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve spoken or written about how much I need my friends living with diabetes to help support my daily life with diabetes, or how they are an essential part of my diabetes management tool kit. In fact, I use this tweet so frequently when I am taking about diabetes peer support because it perfectly illustrates just how essential it is to me.

At the moment, as were locked in our homes, maintaining connections to others is far more difficult. My sister has just returned to Melbourne after over a year living on the west coast and apart from sitting in her garden while she stood at her front door, I’ve not seen been able to welcome her home. I’ve not hugged my parents for weeks, again seeing them only from out the front of their house as they stood on their veranda.

But when it comes to our diabetes peers, I’ve found it a little easier. Our DOC lives over the interwebs. We are physically distant pretty much all the time because most of the people that I spend my time talking to are literally in another country! I may not get to see my friends at conferences and meetings much in coming months, but that hasn’t stopped the messages and photos and videos and video calls.

Each night, before I turn my light out, I message friends to check in to see how they are. It takes nothing to send a quick message but the reassurance that there are others in the same boat, feeling the same fears and frustrations seems to calm and alleviate some of my stresses. And when I wake up there are always messages from friends who were awake while I slept checking back in on me. There are group chats with discussions that range from the incredibly serious to the (thankfully and much needed) absurd. Memes fly around and eyes are virtually rolled at some of what we are seeing online. And sometimes, but only sometimes, we talk diabetes…

I know that pretty much everyone around the world right now has some sort of concerns about COVID-19. Diabetes adds extra to that (because diabetes is a shit and just makes everything more difficult!). And that means that we want to unite with those who understand the extra bit of stress or pressure or anxiety. Find your tribe. And love them so, so hard. (Just do it from a distance at the moment….)

Giving permission

March 26, 2020 in Diabetes, Health, Mental health, Real life, Wellbeing | 3 comments

So, today I had a moment and completely lost it. Tears – big, fat tears – sobbing and ugly, snotty crying. I didn’t even try to hide it, which is what I would usually do. There’s no hiding anymore now that we are all living in confined spaces and pretty much on top of each other all the time. (Sorry to the neighbours if they heard too. Inner-city living means not much space between house boundaries…)

I felt a lot better afterwards. Lighter and less overwhelmed. I realised that being all peppy and positive was weighing me down – perhaps that annoying Pollyanna-ish exterior was becoming like an armour.

I really try to not do the whole ‘what if’ stuff. This was something that I worked on for a long time with my psychologist. Catastrophising diabetes isn’t a great idea at the best of times. Adding a pandemic to the ruinous thinking isn’t especially fun.

It’s not surprising that people with diabetes are talking more about how our mental health is faring in the current situation. Living with a life-long condition that is so demanding and has the ability to mess with our minds in the most insidious way already makes us susceptible to feeling distressed. Now, it feels like that has been turned up to eleven.

I’m trying to remember how I learnt to move from thinking ‘what if <insert whichever scenario was terrifying me at that moment>’ to ‘what if it never happens’. It took me a long time to understand how to do that, with varying levels of success. There were always scenarios that made me feel extra level anxious, and it was a struggle to try to be rational. I found that by allowing myself to think about the most worrying, scary and uncertain things for a set amount of time – giving permission, I guess, to the worry and concern – I could then move on.

It turns out that pandemics bring out the catastrophising. The end-of-days thinking is not especially good for one’s already stressed mental health. Thinking about the things that are happening or that could happen is hard. Hard and scary and terrifying.

This week, I’ve kept coming back to how the Diabetes MILES study showed that the number one problem area for people who participated in the study was worrying about the future and development of diabetes-related complications. There is so much fear of the unknown in diabetes. We just don’t know how it will all play out. We do what we can, we assess and try to minimise risk, we do the best we can with the situation we are in. But we don’t really know what is around the corner.

COVID-19 is that all over again. But with diabetes thrown in for good measure.

Today, I gave permission for the worry and concern to come out because pushing it away wasn’t working. It flooded over me and weighed me down. And then I allowed the tears and the sobs. I didn’t try to stop it, I didn’t try to hide it away. And then…then I could breathe again, and work on the things that help me feel lighter.

So, I’m breathing so deeply. I’m standing in the sunshine. I’m watching our littlest dog run around in circles because she (still) hasn’t realised that she’s not a new puppy anymore. I’m listening to my husband play music. I’m listening to my kid’s laughter because it’s my favourite sound.

And I’m still muttering to myself that this too shall pass. Not yet, and maybe not for some time, but it will. This. Too. Shall. Pass.

Keep asking: How are you?

March 24, 2020 in Diabetes | 5 comments

Friends… how are you today?

Revisited: This is Italy

March 23, 2020 in Travel | Leave a comment

(For Daniela, Elena and Francesca.)

I wrote this piece for ‘No D Day’ back in 2012 when Aaron and I were holidaying in Rome. Of course, the aim of No D Day was to capture something that is totally unrelated to diabetes. I was caught up in the beauty, excitement and frenzy of Rome, and simply couldn’t think of a better topic to focus my writing efforts.

Rome – 2018

We visited Rome again in 2018, this time taking the kid with us. She’d been to Italy before, but not its capital. I wondered if she would fall in love with it the way that we had; if she would get swept up in the buzz and the people and the wonderful madness of it all. She did, in spades. We arrived late in the evening, and as soon as we dropped off our bags at our apartment, we took straight to the streets for pizza. She was in love with the city before her first slice.

I am reading everything I can about how Italians are banding together to get through this impossible time, and thinking so much about my Italian friends. I had no idea when I saw Daniela, Elena and Francesca at ATTD that we may not see each other for some time, or what they had ahead of them when they went back home. These women are like family to me, taking me under their wing and allowing me to pretend that I am part of the Italian crew at diabetes meetings, and half as graceful and smart and stylish as they are. I’m not, but they are sweet to play along.

I know that we will visit Italy again. As soon as this is all over, we will go back, and fall in love with it all over again. Until then, I’m sending so much love to friends and family over there.

Jet lag is a bitch, but it does have its benefits. On our first full day in Rome we were out the door before 7am and watched the city wake up. Our apartment was a short stroll from the Spanish Steps. The afternoon before when we’d arrived, our driver had to battle his way throught the crowds to our tiny via. There were people everywhere – tourists with huge cameras, kids with gelati the size of their heads, locals pushing their way through the crowds and annoying men shoving roses into the faces of unsuspecting women and then demanding their partners hand over a few euro. It was chaos; it was loud; it is Italy and I love it.

But at first light, the area around the Spanish Steps was empty apart from a council worker hosing down the area, getting it ready for the onslaught. We saw a few nuns walking together, possibly on their way to an early morning service. The coffee bar owners were just starting to open their doors and set out the morning pastries.

We walked into the first open cafe we saw, stood at the bar and drank our perfect morning coffees and munched on crunchy cornetti filled with creamy custard.

Fuelled by caffeine and sugar, we walked. We started with the Trevi Fountain and were the only two people standing there. We snapped photos, read the signs and listened to the water flow. Together, we threw in coins – the legend promises we will now return to Rome.

We sat at the fountain, the spray from the water hitting our faces in the cool morning air. Slowly, other people started arriving, so we up and left and continued our walk. We wandered down little streets, stopped in different campi and watched as Rome woke up. We pointed out signs, statues and looked in closed shop windows.

And then, we turned a corner and before our eyes was the Colosseum.

It was after 9am by this time and the steets were starting to fill up again. The tables outside cafes were full. There was noise, laughter, talking.

I feel at home in Italy, which is ridiculous considering that I was born and raised in Australia by parents who moved here when they were tiny children. But it makes sense to me. The craziness of it and what looks like complete and utter disorganisation is actually ordered chaos. It works for the people who live there. Yes, it may take an hour to buy stamps at the post office (this did really happen – Aaron returned home to our apartment defeated, but at least our postcards home were mailed), and yes, it may take the woman at the gelati bar ten minutes to hand you your gelati because she’s talking to someone about her boyfriend and keeps walking away from the counter to tell her story, and yes, it is possible that you will get hit by a motorino scooting on the footpath.

But this is Italy. It’s beautiful. It’s crazy. It’s loud. And when I am there I feel my senses on fire and I am more alive than anywhere else. I just love being there. Love.