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This blog has been quiet for the last couple of weeks because, honestly, there is nothing that I had to say that was of any value. Instead, I’ve been listening, learning, talking with friends and family, crying with friends, having difficult conversations with people. And feeling uncomfortable. I’m learning to not fight that discomfort, but instead examine it and work out how I can be involved in change.
Today, I’m dipping a toe back in slowly, and sharing this from New Yorker Cartoons (maybe this blog really is going to become nothing more than an appreciation page of New Yorker Cartoons and Effin’ Birds). This cartoon spoke to me. Because: tone policing.
Recent New Yorker Cartoon by Jason Adam Katzenstein. (Click for source)
I write about being tone policed in the healthcare space, and that is what I am writing about today. It’s happened for as long as I’ve spoken up about my experiences of diabetes and my thoughts and ideas about healthcare. I’ve been called aggressive so many times by HCPs who have not liked it when a mere ‘patient’ has suggested that they are being damaging to people with diabetes in the words they are using to talk to and about us.
The bolshie nuns who taught me at secondary school taught me that when women are accused of being aggressive (or strident), it is usually because we are being assertive. I’ve come to learn that it’s not just women. It’s anyone who has, for too long, been expected to just take what is dished up – and to accept it with gratitude.
Being assertive, being aggressive, being challenging and saying enough is enough should not result in being told to tone down. Or to be excluded from discussions unless we agree to be more moderate. Or more respectful. When that respect is truly a two-way street, then let’s talk about that. But for as long as power imbalances are at play, and HCPs insist on speaking on behalf of us, or only agreeing to speak with us if they like what we are going to say; or when HPCs feature more in diabetes campaigns because they insist on centring themselves rather than actual people living with the condition…well, then we don’t have true two-way respect.
Our diabetes community is not immune from tone policing each other. It’s happened to me. I continue to listen to type 2 diabetes voices because I can never expect to understand what they are experiencing in our community unless they tell me. It may be uncomfortable for me to hear – but that discomfort comes from a place of my complicity. It is not my place to tell them to moderate the way they are speaking about their experiences, just because it makes me feel prickly. But it does happen. In the timeline of my involvement in the diabetes world, I know that when I was first diagnosed, I contributed to the stigma many people with type 2 talk about, and then, as I learnt more, I moved to being quiet about it when I saw and heard it – even though I disagreed with it. Now I am trying to be a better ally and calling it out when I see it. And shutting up and listening and accepting what people with type 2 say.
We learn when we listen. We learn when we are open to accepting that we do not have all the answers. We learn when we stop being so centred on our own experience and try to turn the spotlight onto ourselves when instead we should be shining it on others.
We learn when we don’t tell people how they should feel or how they should speak.
The other day, I went to a local pharmacy to buy some pump lines. There is one pharmacy in my neighbourhood that usually has insulin pump consumables on the shelf, so I don’t need to order them in. I just pop in when it’s time to top up my supplies and get what I need. I asked for a box of the lines I use. ‘There are two on the shelf,’ said the sales assistant. ‘Do you want both? You probably should stock up.’
‘No thanks,’ I said to her. I only ever buy one box at a time, usually when I am down to my last three or four lines. With the new box, I would easily have a six to eight-week supply.
‘Oh,’ I said to her. ‘You really don’t need to encourage people to buy more than their usual order. We don’t have shortages – that has been confirmed by Diabetes Australia and the Department of Health. Suggesting people stockpile is not a good idea at all.’
Are you stockpiling, or thinking about it? If so, I’m ask you to please reconsider.
I get that these are confusing and stressful times. I haven’t seen a roll of loo paper on the shelves at my local Woolies for weeks now. Other pantry staples are in high demand. And since the weekend, fresh fruit and meat sections have been almost stripped bare. Despite being told that we don’t need to panic buy, we’re seeing this behaviour and it is causing a great deal of distress to a huge number of people.
The last thing we need is for there to be the same situation when it comes to diabetes meds and supplies.
Here’s the deal: we are okay. There are no shortages. We don’t need to panic and stress. That has come directly from the Department of Health who has oversight of all drugs and NDSS supplies. It has also been communicated from Diabetes Australia*.
Where things have the potential to go the way of loo paper is if people suddenly start changing their buying behaviours. Then we have problems.
Think about it this way: before coronavirus, when was the last time you couldn’t find loo paper if you needed it? Never, right? And now, because there was some weird idea that toilet rolls were going to run out, people bought packs and packs of it. I know people who have hundreds of rolls of loo paper stocked up in their houses at the moment. I also know people who have been down to their last roll and are desperately trying to find kindly neighbours who will happily and readily spare a square (or two).
This is what happens when people change their buying behaviour and we really don’t want that to happen with diabetes medications and supplies.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
Be sensible! And don’t change from what you usually do.
What is your usual buying pattern? For me, I have always called in my insulin prescription when I open my second to last vial of insulin. That has been my pattern for years.
I buy pump consumables when I am down to the last few of each. A box of lines lasts me around six weeks; cannulas longer because I tend to reuse them a couple of times. I top up blood glucose strips when I’m down to half a box. (A box lasts me forever because I really only use them to calibrate, and I am rather lax at that).
The only, only thing I have a ridiculous stockpile of is lancets. Because: who changes lancets? And the only reason I have that stockpile is because every new meter comes with about ten of them. Plus, I think I still have the same box I bought 22 years ago at diagnosis…
I am making no changes to my buying pattern and behaviour and I would urge everyone to do the same. If people just keep on keeping on, we will not have shortages. If people start to make changes and panic buy, we could be in situation loo paper.
OTHER CONSIDERATIONS
We do have limits on our NDSS usage. I know I rarely think about this, because I never reach mine. I remember needing a special exemption when I was pregnant because I was doing a heap more BGL checks each day, but other than during that time, I have never needed to worry about getting to my limit.
ALL drugs and diabetes supplies have ‘use-by’ dates. The shelf life on some items (such as sensors) is shorter that on others. If you stockpile, there is a good chance that what you have hoarded will be out of date by the time you get through your supply. That will mean that when you eventually go to use them, they are not covered if something goes wrong (such as sensors not lasting their full time etc).
Also, if you reach your limit, that could mean that you are no longer able to access subsidised product, and you may be required to pay the full amount for them. For those of us who remember the days before pump consumables were on the NDSS, it suddenly makes running a pump VERY expensive…
PLEASE THINK OF OTHERS
When I left the second box of lines of the shelf at my pharmacy last week, I did that knowing it was likely that someone else would be in soon after needing the same lines. If you order two or three times more than usual, someone downstream is going to potentially have trouble accessing what they need when they need it.
Some people can only afford their diabetes supplies on pay day, or when they are running really low on supplies. They rely on being able to access things WHEN they need them and cannot stock up beforehand. Please be considerate of people in all situations.
If we all are sensible about this, we can completely avoid supply problems.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE ALREADY STRUGGLING TO GET WHAT YOU NEED
Contact the NDSS (1800 637 700) with every single detail of what is going on in your situation. Provide details of the access point (usually a pharmacy) that has not been able to provide you with what you need. How long has this been the case? What are you trying to purchase? Have you tried somewhere else locally? (Remember that most pharmacies do not keep insulin or NDSS products in stock and they need to be ordered in.)
Also, please, please, please do not engage in online speculation of shortages online. This is what causes panic! If you have a personal experience, contact the NDSS!
TWO FINAL THINGS
- Keep washing your hands!
- IF YOU ARE STOCKPILING LANCETS, STOP IT. STOP IT NOW!! You KNOW you will never use them! And no one else will either, so they will haunt and mock you from your diabetes supplies cupboard/drawer for the rest of your days.
*DISCLOSURE
Yes, I work for Diabetes Australia, however I am not writing this because of that and have not been asked by anyone at Diabetes Australia or the NDSS to write this.
I am writing it because I am a person with diabetes who does not want to find herself struggling to access the meds and supplies that I need to stay alive, nor do I want any of my diabetes brothers or sisters to find themselves in the same situation.
No need to stockpile lancets. Or anything else!
Look what our community did! Here is the just released #SpareARose total for 2020. What a remarkable effort from a remarkable community!
The grand total of USD$73,748 will mean that, through Life for a Child, 1229 children with diabetes in under-resourced countries will have access to insulin for the next year. Amazing!
I guess there’s nothing more to say for this year, other than thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to all who contributed – whether that be through a donation or sharing the campaign.
Spare a Rose, Spare a Child will be back next year. Each year, we promise it will be bigger and better, and I’m sure that will be the case for 2021. Just watch us all go!
Tuesday last week, I woke up to find this message in my Twitter DMs. I read it and read it again. It accompanied a tweet or two to me about my blog post from the previous day.
I debated about whether or not I should share this publicly. I wrote some words, walked away, came back to them, walked away, asked a few friends their thoughts, walked away, wrote a bit more and walked away again. I posted it to my closed Facebook page to get some feedback from others and wondered if that was enough.
But then remembered this blog post. #StandUP.
So, here I am, standing up. Because I am upset and angry.
I am not upset and angry that someone didn’t like or disagreed with what I wrote. It would be frightfully boring if we always all agreed with each other and loved the same things.
I am not upset and angry that this message was unsolicited. I believe that people don’t need an invitation to comment when I write and publish things on a public forum. I invite all feedback – good and not so good.
I’m not even upset or angry that I don’t understand what was being referred to in the message. I re-read and re-read and re-read my post, and I can’t see where I ever, ever said that people with diabetes shouldn’t self-manage, or know what meds they’re taking or what their glucose readings are. I couldn’t find it in there. But, people interpret things differently and perhaps my writing wasn’t as clear to them as I thought it was.
I’m not here today to defend the content in that blog post, because that’s not what this is about.
I am upset and angry that I was being told to ‘be mindful of what and how I verbalise’. This is called tone policing. It is telling me that I should moderate the way that I talk and think about my own diabetes. This was an opinion piece. My opinion. People don’t need to agree with it – and they can tell me they don’t. But telling me to moderate the way that I communicate is a very different thing.
I will forever call out and stand up to anyone who tells me, or others with diabetes, to restrain our feelings or opinions, and that is why I am writing this post. Because more than anything, I believe that we have a right to express how we feel about diabetes, in the way we want to, especially when we are sharing our own opinions or experiences. When we are told to be mindful of what and how we are writing/speaking it is a step on the way to censoring and silencing us. We already do that enough.
Often, in clinical settings, we moderate the way we speak. We might minimise how tough things are, or don’t speak out about the way we are treated or the judgement we face. When we are told that we’re not doing enough and are failing, we look down, afraid to stand up for ourselves.
And so, we created spaces where we could be free to share and rant and cry in a way that gave us some comfort. We turned to others who are likely to have had similar – if not identical – experiences. We share our opinions, some of them unpopular, thought-provoking and challenging of the status quo because we feel we have the liberty to do just that.
We have had to be quiet for too long. But that should never be the case in our own space.
The diabetes online community is that space. Twitter, when we use our #xxDOC (or #DSMA) hashtags is that space. Other online and offline support opportunities and groups we have created is that space.
And this blog (and others written by PWD) is that space.
So, back to the message I received last week. I did ask for clarification, and for examples of where I’d used capital letters or words that could be considered harmful, but I didn’t get a response.
Just this message:
No answers, just a threat to mute me. To silence my voice. Sure, it is only being silenced on this one person’s twitter stream, but that was the response to me refusing to be ‘compliant’ and agree with a healthcare professional’s demands that I tone down the way I write about my own opinion. I had not been aggressive, abusive or rude. I had just shared my own opinion and thoughts in my own voice. In my own space.
In a couple of weeks, the diabetes conference juggernaut will descend on Madrid for ATTD.
This one is all about new treatments and technologies in the world of diabetes and, in its thirteenth year, looks to once again be a busy and enlightening meeting.
There is so much on the program that focuses on user-led technologies and initiatives. I think it’s fair to say that PWD have long recognised that technology in diabetes is more than just the devices we wear on our bodies. We have long used technology for support and to connect to others who help us manage the day-to-day life of diabetes, and to learn and share. DIYAPS may be about the systems, but grasping the role of online platforms and support is essential in understanding the #WeAreNotWaiting movement as a whole.
It’s great that a number of PWD already know that they will be part of ATTD this year, attending satellite events run by different device and drug companies. Some are on the program and some will be there through other opportunities and work.
The more the merrier, I say! Different voices with different experiences sharing and learning is always a great thing. And having the opportunity to meet people in real life after only seeing them online adds another dimension to our peer support networks.
For European diabetes friends yet to secure a place at ATTD, there is another possible avenue in, but you need to be quick. Launching at ATTD is the new #dedoc° voices program. Although #dedoc°has its foundations in Germany it is truly an international community, involving people from all over the world. #docday° events (always a highlight at these conferences) involve diabetes advocates from across Europe and the US, and even the odd Australian, too. It’s great to see this new initiative is helping more advocates get a seat at the diabetes conference table as active participants.
APPLY NOW
If you want to be considered for the #dedoc° voices program, you need apply, which is super simple – just go here, where you will find out all about the program and how to throw your name in the ring! Applications close on Friday, so chop chop!
Successful applicants will have their travel and accommodation costs reimbursed, and will receive full registration to the conference.
Good luck. And hope you see you there.
Disclosure
I am an advisor to the #dedoc° voices program. I do not receive any payment for this role.
I am an invited speaker at ATTD 2020. Lilly Diabetes is covering my travel and part of my accommodation so I can participate in the DOCLab advisory group meeting held during ATTD.
My packing-for-travel routine is pretty relaxed. We left for New York at 8am on Boxing Day and I started packing when we got home from our five millionth family gathering at about 10pm on Xmas night.
Admittedly, my laid back attitude to diabetes-supplies packing could be because I usually spend my time travelling surrounded by other PWD who are far better organised than I could ever hope to be. I know that if I run out of insulin, pack the wrong glucose strips for the meter I’m carrying or forget a charging cable, someone will be able to help me out. (I know this because these things have all happened. More than once. Way more than once.)
Anyway, I thought that I had done a pretty damn good job of throwing everything I needed together for New York, with back up supplies and contingencies. As we headed to the airport bright and early, still full of my mother’s Xmas zippoli, I felt comfortable that diabetes was going to be a relatively easy companion on this trip.
Turned out that I got it mostly right. Just not completely!
Issue one happened when I got a transmitter low battery warning the first week we were in NY. ‘Bugger,’ I thought, remembering back to the last time I recharged my Fenix G5 transmitter*. It was while I was sitting at breakfast one morning in Boston at ISPAD. I recalled that I definitely hadn’t had the transmitter plugged in long enough for a full charge. At the time, I thought I’d charge it fully the next time I did a sensor change…and then promptly forgot.
Of course, I had forgotten to pack the very specific charger required to recharge my Fenix. And I couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was called. ‘It has two little magnetic-y things on the side. And it’s kind of shaped like this,’ I said sketching a rough picture to the people behind the counter in about fifteen electrical stores around the city.
After getting nothing more than blank stares, I went directly to the source – Facebook – and sent a message to a couple of tech friends back home (including the bloke responsible for building the device). I had a response minutes later, placed an Amazon Prime order straight away and two days later my Fenix was charging on the kitchen counter in our apartment.
I had a re-batteried travel transmitter with me that I used in the interim (with layer upon layer upon layer of waterproof tape over the top of it because I had also forgotten to pack the resin needed to finish off that little device…), but as soon as the Fenix was fully charged, I reset it and shoved it back into the still in situ sensor. Crisis mostly averted.
And then there was the run in with Dex sensors. I’d sited a new sensor a day or two before we left and took two spares with me. I usually get three weeks out of a sensor, so thought that if lucky I wouldn’t even need to change one at all during our time away. But if I did, I would be right and have another there … and a spare just in case.
Well, best laid plans and all… the original sensor failed after less than a week. The second sensor did too, and the third sensor was actually faulty – the needle scarily poking out the end as I released it all from the packaging.
I believe the word I used at that point was ‘Fuck’. Loudly. And then turned straight back to Facebook with this:
A few NY friends reached out and shared the post, and within an hour, I had organised to meet up with someone who could help me out. Thanks a million to Stacey for connecting us, and thanks two million to Caroline who rode into Manhattan with her ridiculously beautiful baby to drop off sensors to me and have a coffee. (Off topic, but Caroline and I thought this was our first-time meeting, but we realised later that we had met for dinner one night in New York back in 2011!)
I am forever grateful for the support I receive from my peers online – and being my back up plan because I am so crap at diabetes. I do promise to try to do better when getting myself organised for travel, but I know that I am still likely to get things wrong. Diabetes is a hard task master and demands a lot. Slip ups happen.
But there is always help at hand. I was off Twitter at the time, feeling particularly vulnerable after the brutal time on there at the end of the year. Thankfully I had Facebook to turn to and a huge group of diabetes friends there to help me out. But what if that wasn’t the case? This is why our online spaces must be safe at all times, and why that power imbalance between HCPs and PWD, and how potentially harmful that can be, needs to be recognised. We need to feel safe reaching out wherever our peers are for whatever support we need. I did that and that’s why this blogpost is called ‘Peer support on the road’ rather than ‘Loopless in New York’!
Back to the important things.
* I use a rechargeable G5 transmitter with my Dexcom, built by a very clever bloke in Australia.
I wrote a post a while ago called ‘You Do You’, (and revisited and expanded on it here). It’s where I wrote about how everyone should have the freedom to do diabetes whichever way they see fit. I’m pro-choice in all aspects of life*, especially when it comes to PWD choosing their own management tools.
And I think that people with diabetes should have the choice to BE the people we need to be. And the people we are. I touched on this on my post on Monday when I spoke about how I felt intimidated online because my opinions and thoughts, and the way I addressed issues, were not everyone’s cup of tea. I felt that I was being called out for being myself. And that wasn’t okay.
No two people with diabetes are the same; no two people with diabetes will have precisely the same management ideas and preferences, and no two people with diabetes will react and respond to situations in exactly the same way.
THAT IS OKAY.
Diabetes is messy, frustrating, weird, annoying, amusing (rarely, but sometimes), scary, boring and a whole lot of other adjectives. And how we react and respond to it is our own business and no one else’s. You BE you, because you have the right to do that.
You have the right to be as loud or as quiet as you want.
You have the right to be as bitter and angry as you need to be in the moment.
You have the right to celebrate and be joyful about your diabetes.
You have the right to call out things that upset you just as much as you have the right to commend the things that make you satisfied.
You have the right to step away from groups, situations, people who upset you.
You have the right to disagree with others. Having an opposing view does not mean that you are attacking another person.
You have the right to have an opinion on what you see in the world of diabetes – even if it is happening on the other side of the world. I was incredulous when it was suggested that I shouldn’t question something happening in a healthcare system of which we are not a part. (I may not use the healthcare system in the US or the UK or Italy or anywhere other than Australia, but I am allowed to comment on what I see being done in those places.)
You have the right to be passionate and not be told that is a character flaw.
You have the right to be emotional because diabetes is real in a way that only makes sense to those of us who are living with it or have a loved one living with it. I don’t know how to take the emotion out of this, so you bet I will be emotional at times. I don’t get to clock off at the end of the work day and not think about it.
You have the right to use the words and language that works for you when talking about your own diabetes and if anyone tells you that #LanguageMatters is actually preventing PWD from doing that, tell them to fuck right off. It’s not. It never was. It never will be, and anyone who says it is has missed the point of the whole movement.
You have the right to use the word ‘fuck’ or whatever else you want to use. Profanity helps some people and we shouldn’t be told to wash out our mouths if others don’t like us using those words. (Sorry, dad.)
You have the right to be the sort of advocate you want to be. Or to not be an advocate.
You have the right to share your experiences – even the ones that don’t shine a particularly positive light on health systems or HCPs. No one – NO ONE – should silence us when we turn to our peers to seek support, or talk about what is going on in our diabetes lives.
You have the freedom to talk about your own diabetes, especially in the diabetes online community which we created for this very reason – to be able to share our experiences, learn from each other, support our peers and build each other up.
So, this? This is me being me. This is me standing up and not going quietly. This is me saying that I will be the person with diabetes I need to be, because it’s the only way I can be true to myself and true to my community.
*Except vaccinations. I don’t believe in choice there.
When the diabetes community comes together, great things happen. And one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen has been Spare A Rose, Save a Child.
Most people now know the origin story of this annual campaign. The short version is that back in 2013, a group of US diabetes advocates came together to do something for the global diabetes community. Using Valentine’s Day to signpost the campaign, the idea was simple: ‘spare’ one rose on Valentine’s Day and donate the saving to Spare A Rose, Save a Child. That one rose saving was enough to provide a month’s insulin to a child in an under-resourced country. All funds raised would go directly to the charity Life for a Child.
It’s really important to understand where Spare A Rose started, and the community aspect of the campaign. This didn’t happen for any other reason than a group of people directly affected by diabetes wanting to help others who needed it: for the community; by the community. No one took credit, no one was the face of Spare a Rose, no one raved about their involvement or contribution. It was about the whole community.
That’s where you step in. Because Spare a Rose is a community campaigned, owned by everyone who has anything to do with diabetes, anyone and everyone can get involved. And there are lots of ways you can do that.
Obviously, you can donate. (Please donate!) That’s the first and most important call to action here! And it’s easy – as easy as 1 – 2 – 3!
But also, we need to get this outside the echo chamber of the DOC.
Change your twitter and Facebook profile pics to highlight Spare A Rose and tell people why you’ve done it – and encourage them to as well. (Twibbon has a super easy way to do that here.)
The Spare A Rose site has lots of different images and messages you can share. Of course, use your social media reach, but also print some out and leave them around your office or local café.
Share, share, share! Amplifying anything and everything you see about Spare a Rose helps get the message out. I make no apologies that my SoMe feeds will be seen as if through rose coloured glasses for the next six or so weeks. Roses are lovely. Spare roses save lives.
Last year was the campaign’s most successful ever, raising a total of USD$56,340 / AUD$79,447 (or 12 months of insulin and education for 939 young people with diabetes). We have a target this year that I’m afraid to say out loud, because it is so audacious, but if there is one thing our diabetes community does, it is come together for those who need it.
So, please, #SpareARose (or two, or a dozen) and save a child. Seems like an awfully good way to start the year.
So, this is 2020? How are you going? I returned from overseas to a country literally burning and choked in smoke; a government that is refusing to accept that climate change is real; and a news organisation making up the narrative to suit themselves (arsonists are everywhere, apparently).
Bet you didn’t expect me to get so political before midday on a Monday!
Today is my first day back at work after three weeks of holidays in New York with my family. We spent the time basically relocating our Melbourne life to New York: finding a favourite café that served decent coffee, drinking great quantities of said coffee, wandering the streets, playing with (other people’s) dogs, warming up in bookstores and catching up with friends. It was the perfect way to farewell 2019 and welcome 2020.
As I have mentioned a million times before, I don’t do resolutions. You may not know this, but I live with diabetes, and that in itself gives me enough reasons to not reach goals and targets. I don’t need to add another list of things of which to fall short.
For the last three years, I’ve chosen a word that I’ve hoped would oversee and direct my way of thinking and acting for the year. As it turns out, that was a load of rubbish. Because each time, as I searched for the word that I wanted to guide me, the one I settled on went against the very grain of who I am.
The words were pause, focus and reset – and behind them was the idea that I would respond in ways that were really out of character; words that would silence or calm my natural responses.
But that’s not me. I walk towards things (usually at pace), I’m impulsive, I’m reactive. Sure, these may not necessarily be the best traits for a mindful, calm existence, and they can be exhausting, but welcome to my life: Hi, I’m Renza.
This year, I’m ditching the word idea, and using a phrase that better suits me, and that phrase is Stand Up.
We are living in a world that does not need people to be silent. Manners are all very important, but it is very possible to have manners and be polite, but still challenge things that we see as not right. We don’t need to be told how to think, how to feel, how to respond to something that upsets us. We don’t need to tone police ourselves – or others. We don’t need to accept what we are given.
And in the diabetes space, we don’t need people to be meek and mild. We need people who are disrupters and who speak their minds and who call out the bullshit. We definitely need to make sure that the voice of PWD is the loudest in the room, and that anyone who tries, even for a second on any platform, to tell us to pipe down is called out for it.
We do not need people to go quietly, and I am somewhat horrified that I did just that at the end of last year when I was feeling intimidated and vulnerable online. If I’m honest, I don’t recognise the person who switched her Twitter to private and wrote this thread to explain it to the people who were asking why.
Being angry is okay because there is a lot to get angry about in diabetes care. Not standing up means that we accept the situation for how it is. We can do it in a way that is nice and friendly, but sometimes it takes more than that. And that is okay.
I have never cared about being popular in the DOC or being considered one of the cool kids. I have never worried about follower numbers. I searched for this community because I needed support and I needed to feel part of something amongst people who were just life me. Other people with diabetes.
When I re-read my twitter thread from before Xmas, my heart broke NOT at what had happened; but at how I felt that the only way for me to stop feeling so unsafe was to turn away from the community – MY community. It was this tweet that set my tears running again:
I thought that if I had wandered into the DOC for the first time instead of the welcoming place it was, I saw PWD being challenged, I would have run away. THAT was what broke my heart – the very idea that I would not have discovered people like Kerri, Georgie, Cherise, Melissa, Mike, Dana, Grumps, David, Manny, Jeff, Mel, Frank, Alanna, Kelly, Ashleigh, Scott, Annie, Alecia, Bastian, Daniela and so, so many others. I don’t know how I would have navigated the murky waters of life with diabetes without those people: MY people for whom diabetes actually invades our DNA and the DNA of our loved ones. People there for the right reasons – not for the accolades, not for increasing follower counts. They are community-minded, open to opposing ideas and thoughts, and don’t consider themselves superheroes.
If I had have gone quietly, I would never have learnt from them; never had the support of people who understand; never had people like that at my back when I do stand up.
So, I don’t go quietly ever again. I stand up as I always have. I accept that doing that will send me into periods of advocacy burnout; I’ll deal with that when it happens, surrounded my friends and peers who get it.
So yes, this is 2020. I’m back. It’s really nice to see you here.
Diabetogenic 