There is something to be said for the comfort of routine. Yesterday, I had my annual eye check. And like clockwork, it played out the same way it always has.
Just like always, the week before my appointment, I received a reminder message from doctor’s office. That cued the call to my dad to lock him in for chauffeuring and morale duties.
Just like always, a little part of the back of my mind was occupied with the upcoming appointment and a series of ‘what if’ scenarios played out.
Just like always, the night before my appointment, my anxiety levels were heightened. I tried to alleviate them with a bit of twitter humour.
Just like always on the day of the appointment, Dad picked me up and just like always, I told him how nervous I was. ‘Twenty years of diabetes now, dad.I’m worried this might be the appointment where the news isn’t all good.’
And just like always, he said ‘Just wait and see. There’s not point worrying before you see your doctor.’ His morale boosting comments, just like always, right on point.
Just like always, I nervously waiting in the second waiting room to be called in to the first appointment.
Just like always, the orthoptist had me read from a chart and put drops in my eyes and sent me on my way to the next waiting room. And just like always, my vision blurred and my heart rate increased.

Drops in; vision blurring. Waiting…
Just like always, my dreamy ophthalmologist called me into his room. (Dreamy because he’s lovely to look at. But more dreamy because he is just so damn kind to me in my ridiculous nervous state). ‘Are you well,’ he asked, just like always asks, and I realised that I have not always answered, ‘Yes. So well…’
Just like always, he said: ‘Your vision and eye pressure look good, Renza. No changes at all since last time.’
Just like always I allowed myself to smile a tiny bit. But no too much. Because the reason we were really there hadn’t happened yet.
Just like always, he turned down the lights in the room and shone an almost painfully bright light into my eyes. He asked me to look this way and then that way. He looked at the front and back of both of my eyes.
And just like always, when he’d looked for all he needed to look for, he turned the lights back on and smiled at me. ‘There is no sign of retinopathy or any other diabetes-related eye problems. Your eyes are great.’
Just like always, I breathed again. I smiled. Really smiled. ‘I’ve had diabetes for twenty years now. Today’s news has made me really happy.’ I said. And I thanked him for giving me such good news.
Just like always I wandered back down the corridor, feeling far lighter. I paid the bill, I found my dad.
And just like always, he looked at my beaming smile and said, ‘I told you so. Just like I always do.’
3 comments
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May 9, 2018 at 7:42 pm
John Grumitt (@JohnGrumitt)
Good for you Renza, I likewise always feel a little nervous, worried that something nasty might be creeping in. You are lucky in Aus to be given an opinion there and then. Back in the UK I have to entice it out of the person running the screening which they give only after encouragement and with the caveat that it needs to be officially graded, from which I get a very bland letter from some remote authority.
A happy day for you.
All the best
John
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May 14, 2018 at 11:58 am
Rick Phillips
I hate these exams so much I do it every 6 months. What I hate it and do it more? Yes, I once lapsed 15 years.
Every 6 months lessens my fear. like you I get the same result each time. My doctor and I have the same dance every year. see you in a year, nope, six months for me. OK, but a year is fine.
Nope, back in 6. OK, see you in 6 Rick. We both go home happy.
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May 15, 2018 at 5:47 pm
DiabetisNews
Thank you for sharing this. It`s good to know that everything is just like always. I am always afraid going to these exams and hope everytime it is just like always.
So, be happy!
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