This oldie from the archives is making an appearance (with a few changes from the original) because today in my inbox I received an email suggesting that I could do a three week online course to become a diabetes expert. For the low price of US$799 (plus tax), I could have access to modules that are a veritable treasure trove of diabetes details. So, I thought about it for a bit, and was just about to hit ‘add to cart’ when I remembered this post.

Turns out, there is already a simple way to find out if you are an expert in your diabetes. You can take it here for free. You’re welcome. 


Take this quiz to find out if you are an expert in your diabetes.

1. How long have you had diabetes?
Long enough.
Too long.
No idea. I’m drinking to forget.
3,456 days; 22 hours; 3 minutes; 14 seconds….15 seconds….16 seconds….

2. Complete this sentence: Diabetes is like….
A rainbow. All bright colours and a pot of gold at the end.
Disneyland. The happiest place on earth!
The best thing that has ever happened to me!
It sucks. It just plain sucks.

3. A unicorn walks into a diabetes support group meeting. You…
Call it Pricker and make it the group’s mascot.
Collect tears from it and cure your diabetes. That will work, right?
Find out if it knows anyone from the Forbidden Forest in Harry Potter.
Check my BGL.

4. Can you eat that?
F*ck off
No; I hate tripe.
Yep; pass me a spoon.
Should you be asking that?

5. Water is to sieve as XX is to diabetes?

6. How many people with diabetes does it take to change a light globe?
Get over yourself. I use the word ‘diabetic’.
I use candlelight. I can’t afford a light globe; my CGM costs are too high.
Fifteen. Any excuse for a diabetes support group get-together!
Not sure. Let me call my endo and I’ll get back to you.

7. You see another PWD in a café. What do you do?
Enough with the PWD crap!
Squeal, leap across the table, tell that you will be friends forever – whether they like it or not! (Wait…that could
just be me….)
Nothing, but keep a close eye on them to check out their gear.
Make a big deal of pulling out your pump/meter/pens hoping they will notice and start talking to you.

8. Complete this sentence: An insulin pump is….
A little device that delivers insulin.
A nightmare to try to accommodate when wearing a tight frock.
More demanding that a new puppy – all the beeping & alarms drive me crazy.
No idea? What is it?

9. Do you know other people with diabetes
No; I avoid them like the plague.
There are other people with diabetes?
Yes. I moved house so I could have one as a neighbour. (Wait – that could just be me….)

10. Complete this sentence: Nutella is….
A chocolate, hazelnut spread
The work of the devil. (FYI – If you select this, we can never be friends.)
The. Greatest. Thing. Ever.
The solution to all the world’s problems.


Well done – you are an expert in your diabetes. All answers are correct. Or incorrect! Frustrating right? Just like diabetes.