Twenty-one years of diabetes feels like forever sometimes, and I feel as though nothing surprises me anymore – it’s just same, same, day in, day out. And most days really are like that. But then there are moments that jolt me.
I had a moment this weekend that did just that. It felt familiar, because it happens occasionally. But it passes and I forget. I think that before this weekend, I’ve never really tried to work out just what it was that I was feeling.
But this time…this time I did.
Perhaps it was because I had four glorious days of long weekend and time to think, or maybe it was because diabetes was far more dominant than I’ve come to expect, thanks to thirty-six hours without Loop (which is a story for another time).
This feeling is like being in the ocean and being pushed under by an unexpected wave. I feel overcome and I feel that every single part of me is being caught up and I can’t escape. It hits me out of nowhere and as I’m being pulled under, it takes over.
It lasts no more than a heartbeat or two, and usually I just shake it off and get on with whatever I was doing.
But this weekend, I stopped and along with feeling swept up, I felt an overwhelming and complete sense of sadness descend upon me. I know I have diabetes. I have accepted it. I feel it living in me. But this sadness is matched with a realisation that this is it – I don’t get a chance to be without this ever again.
I’m doing a lousy job trying to explain this, and I don’t want to sound like I am in the midst of some sort of crisis, or about to sink into the depths of a period of burnout. I’m not there – or even staring it down.
This is just that fleeting moment of remembering that diabetes will always be present, and each day, it will rob me of some of my time, my mind, my headspace. It makes me feel sad when I think of this.
I was reminded that we do so much to just settle ourselves around all that diabetes demands of us. Some of that is physical rearrangement as we accommodate the devices and scars and paraphernalia that accompany this condition. But so much of it is how we think and feel. In the past I have not given this feeling a name, or allowed it to be any more than a passing flash – barely a blip on my consciousness. Maybe this time I permitted more because I could handle it and was ready and able to give it a place.
My body and mind are taken up so much by diabetes – I don’t want to give it any more attention. But this weekend, for more than just a minute – although not too much more – I gave name to this sadness that I feel. It passed and on I went. But it lives there now – or rather it always has.
6 comments
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April 23, 2019 at 7:07 pm
Cindy
You nailed it every now and then it catches you and you carry on but it just reminds you. Thanks again for your wonderful blog.
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April 23, 2019 at 7:55 pm
kbnutrition2014
Thank you Renza, I want to share with Fin but fear of reminding him just this has held me back. I listen to him saying your words and I can only feel gratitude that you have not shut down your thought catchments and instead allowed us into that place. To glimpse is not to be but to be must allow our access to share your glimpses of sadness of loss of whats not possibly to ever be. Really thank you for realities inclusion of the myth told to us of living a diabetes happily ever after xoxo
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April 23, 2019 at 8:23 pm
Kerry Wilkinson
Great blog that captures the need to be allowed to feel – not just do – the life of diabetes. Just working through a major meltdown as I’ve started on CGM and can’t remember all the steps of changing sets!! But I certainly don’t want to go back to the days of urine testing which was the way I had to test levels when first diagnosed. Renza, go and eat some yummy chocolate!!
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April 24, 2019 at 11:58 am
Jean Beaumont
Renza, Your words had tears pouring down my face, I know exactly what you are trying to express. My problem is allowing myself permission to feel such sadness about myself while heading fast to 50 years battling type 1 diabetes. The understanding around me is so limited, outsiders looking in have no idea what type 1 diabetes involves nor do they understand the toll it takes on me physically and mentally every hour of everyday. I am always on the edge of breakdown but I just balance on that edge and I don’t allow myself to fall off or to show anyone any form of “I’m not coping”, its private, but far too much private tears flow over it. At the end of the day this condition cannot be taken over by a doctor or a medical team member or an educator, I could bloody educate an educator on the topic!! it is entirely on our shoulders to work it out and live with it around a life. That feeling of total isolation within a disease makes my chest hurt and my heart breaks, its lonely.
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April 24, 2019 at 1:28 pm
Rick Phillips
the question for me is would i feel better or worse about diabetes if I had been younger or older. Would I miss what I do not have more, or would I miss it less if I had never known these things.
Tghe answer for me is this. There is no good time to be diagnosed with diabetes. There is only my time. My time is the best and worst time. Because I know it was the worst and best time.
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April 26, 2019 at 9:20 am
Rustyjellybaby
Great post. We’re with you and it’s definitely ok to feel sad and to acknowledge it X
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