The hydrangeas on our front veranda are starting to shoot. Only three weeks ago, they were bare, and considering my almost perfect record of killing plants, I wondered if I’d pruned them into oblivion a few months ago. ‘Are these dead or just dormant?’ I asked, every time I walked out the front door, or stood there with the key in my hand waiting to go inside. I was almost ready to bring in the big guns (mum and mum-in-law) for advice and rescue.
Turns out they were just doing their cold-weather thing and waiting for some warmth, and now, every single day, there is more bright green foliage unfurling. In just a couple of months they’ll be weighed down by white pom pom flowers.
Over the back fence, the branches on the neighbours’ tree – the tree that heralds the seasons with such grandeur – are covered in cottony white blossom.
Because it’s spring. Finally. It’s really spring.
And I’m ready for it, and for the clutter and sludge that inevitably infiltrates my mind in the cooler months to have a good spring clean!
Diabetes takes up a lot of my headspace. Although, as I explained to friend across the seas the other day, it’s not my diabetes that is doing that. My diabetes is boring. I love my boring diabetes.
But ‘the world of diabetes’ is overwhelming me at the moment. It’s not the first time I’ve felt this way. It happens sporadically. Sometimes it’s because there is just so much going on, other times it’s because I just feel over it all. And then there are the times that my own diabetes combined with ‘work diabetes combined with ‘miscellaneous diabetes’ just gets too much.
And that’s where I’m at. I think that months holed up inside in front of the fire allow too much time to be overtaken by the minutiae of the diabetes world, and I start to take everything on board too much. So it builds up. And up and up, until I am where I am now.
I think perhaps this is my own version of SADS, but instead of seasonal affective depression I have ‘seasonally affected diabetes’. It happens each year – I can chart it alongside a weather, sunlight and heat chart.
So, I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. Melbourne is getting warmer. There are blue skies – the sorts of skies that greet me when I wake up in the morning, hang around all day and melt into beautiful sunsets in the evenings. And there is sunshine.
And with it comes some clarity to sort through the sludge, sweeping out some of the things taking up too much mental space, discarding what I should have let go of months ago.
I’m kickstarting ridding the discontent of winter by heading to warmer climes next week, initially for a holiday and then a conference. I’m hoping that in the two weeks before the conference starts will be spent outside, wandering cobblestone streets, enjoying lighter fare (and gelati) and basking in sunshine- real sunshine that will dance on my skin and penetrate all the way through to my bones.
By the time I get back home, Melbourne will be in full spring glory – the jacarandas will have started to flower, the blossoms on the tree over the fence will have scattered to the ground and given way to a covering of green leaves, dappling sunlight across the garden.
And hopefully, I’ll be lighter and clearer and spring-cleaned, with nothing more than my own (boring) diabetes.

My favourite local serving up my first iced latte of the season!
6 comments
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September 11, 2018 at 10:32 pm
StephenS
I know what you mean, though I’m hoping I can rid myself of the sludge with the advent of autumn in North America.
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September 12, 2018 at 11:53 am
RenzaS / Diabetogenic
I do love autumn. That too signals a chance to regroup… Enjoy the changing leaves.
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September 12, 2018 at 9:09 am
Jean Beaumont
Yes the warmth and sunlight makes everything feel better, spring is my favorite seasonal feeling, as with having diabetes, the cold is unbearable but the summer heat is equally challenging. I get knocked around with either extreme and have always assumed it was my diabetic health, so yes my overwhelming daily diabetes feelings calm down in Spring. I can hear the birds having a tweet feast as I type. Have a lovely day. x
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September 12, 2018 at 11:54 am
RenzaS / Diabetogenic
The warm weather can wreak havoc too – you’re right. Warm weather hypos can be troubling. Good luck with it all! And enjoy some of the sunshine.
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September 12, 2018 at 11:26 am
Rick Phillips
Oh yeah don’t rub it in. I am entering my sludge season. Yuck I hate winter. Can i come stay with you? I will bring the wife of course and we will want breakfast in bed, you knwo the usual during our stay. I promise we will leave around April 1 or so. LOL
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September 12, 2018 at 11:52 am
RenzaS / Diabetogenic
You would be more than welcome! And sure to the bed in breakfast, but I couldn’t promise that it would be accompanied by a puppy or two wanting some of there real estate on the bed! When should we expect you?
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