It’s easy to remember the difficult moments we’ve experienced at the hands of healthcare professionals who have been less than kind.
And, equally, we remember those moments where kindness was shown in spades.
I know I certainly remember moments of kindness in healthcare. And those moments transformed me. I so appreciated the kindness that came from HCPs at moments when a tsunami of grief or despair or pain or a diagnosis washed over me, knocked me to the ground and left me doubtful that I would ever be able to get back up again.
I remember kind words, the silences afforded to me giving me a moment or two (or dozens) to think, the time I was given to understand what was happening and formulate a plan to manage… I remember them all because they left me stronger, more determined, better supported and far more empowered to cope.
Kindness is a highly underrated quality in healthcare. I’m not sure how it should be included in a curriculum full of critically essential information, but it needs to be taught from the very beginning of any healthcare courses, and it’s importance highlighted and stated over and over and over again.
In the last year or so, I’ve read a few books written by (as the publicity often claims) ‘healthcare professionals turned patients’. (I’ve found this to be quite an odd term, because surely everyone at one point or another has been a patient.)
A recurring theme throughout the books is how difficult the HCPs have found it being on the other side of the HCP / patient divide. They often appear astounded at the red tape and bureaucracy they came up against, the hoops they need to jump through to receive the appropriate care, and the sheer unfriendliness of the system. And they write about the extraordinary moments of kindness that often feel far too infrequent.
Sometimes, they have written about how they didn’t realise that the way they themselves behaved could be interpreted as having a lack of consideration and kindness – explaining it was simply their manner and how they made sure they got through the day as efficiently as possible in a system often built on the foundation of complete and utter inefficiency. And yet now…now they understood.
While the books I read have been beautifully written, heart breaking at times, and often end terribly, the stories in them were not surprising. They tell truths about the system – and the lack of kindness – that people with diabetes face every day in every encounter.
When Kate Grainger launched #HelloMyNameIs, she was echoing the calls of countless people before her: please treat us like people. Please tell us what you are doing here. Please know we are scared. Please tell us who you are and what your role in my care will be.
She did it beautifully, simply, eloquently and changed the landscape of healthcare communication. I am so sad that she had to be so ill for this to happen. But her legacy is one for which I am so grateful.
Kindness in healthcare makes all the difference. Some may think it is completely unnecessary and that as long as we are receiving the right diagnosis, good care and excellent treatment, there is nothing more we need. But that is not true. Kindness adds a human element. We need warm hands, warm hearts and warm words alongside the cool tech, sterile environments and scary diagnoses.
Kindness takes no more time; it takes no more effort. But it’s effects can indeed be monumental.
3 comments
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February 5, 2018 at 4:26 pm
Bill Murray
I certainly appreciate and accept your position, Renza, though I think it really comes down to the first part of your words, “Kindness is a highly underrated quality …”. However, back on topic, last week Claire dropped in to say hello to her old paed, Peter Wearne, because she remembers him with such fondness. Peter was her T1D specialist from 3 years old until she was 18, and was always gentle and kind, to us parents as well as Claire. It has certainly helped Claire.
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February 5, 2018 at 4:39 pm
Jeann
I recently had a diabetes ‘experience” which required 2 educators, an endocrinologist and a GP to resolve. The caring and kindness was absolutely marvelous. And boy, did I need that! I am so lucky to have such a wonderful team.
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February 6, 2018 at 12:53 pm
Rick Phillips
Kindness and humor. Or humor and kindness or maybe kindness is like humor, everyone needs some most of the time.
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