I get to meet some pretty awesome people with diabetes around the globe. At EASD I caught up with Cathy Van de Moortele who has lived with diabetes for fifteen years. She lives in Belgium and, according to her Instagram feed, spends a lot of time baking and cooking. Her photos of her culinary creations look straight out of a cookbook…She really should write one!
Cathy and I were messaging last week and she told me about an awful experience she had when she was in hospital recently. While she wasn’t the target of the unpleasantness, she took it upon herself to stand up to the hospital staff, in the hope that other people would not need to go through the same thing. She has kindly written it out for me to share here. Thanks, Cathy!
______________
‘Good day sir. Unfortunately we were not able to save your toes. There’s no need to worry though. We’ll bring you back into surgery tomorrow and we’ll amputate your foot. It won’t bother you much. We’ll put some sort of prosthetic in your shoe and you’ll barely notice…’
I’m shocked. Still waking up from my own surgery, I’m in the recovery room. Between myself and my neighbour, there’s no more than a curtain on a rail separating us. I feel his pain and anxiety. He is just waking up from a surgery that couldn’t save his toes. This man, who is facing surgery again, leaving him without his foot. How is he gonna get through this day? How will he have to go on?
The nurse besides my bed, is prepping me to go back to my room. I tell him I’m shocked. He doesn’t understand. I ask him if he didn’t hear the conversation? His reaction makes me burst into tears.
‘Oh well, it’s probably one of those type 2 diabetics, who could not care less about taking care of himself.’
I’m angry, disappointed, sad and confounded. I ask him if he knows this person. Does he know his background? Did this man get the education he deserves and does he have a doctor who has the best interest in his patient? Is he being provided with the right medication? Did he have bad luck? Does he, as a nurse, have any idea how hard diabetes is?
The nurse can tell I’m angry. He takes me upstairs in silence. My eyes are wet with tears and I can only feel for this man and for anyone who is facing prejudice day in day out. I’m afraid to face him when we pass his bed. All I can see is the white sheet over his feet. Over his foot, without toes. Over his foot, that will no longer be there tomorrow. I want to wish him all the best, but no words can express how I feel.
What am I supposed to do about this? Not care? Where did respect go? How is this even possible? Why do we accept this as normal? Have we become immune for other people’s misery?
I file a complaint against the policy of this hospital. A meeting is scheduled. They don’t understand how I feel about the lack of respect for this patient. They tell me to shake if off. Am I even sure this patient overheard the conversation? Well, I heard it… it was disrespectful and totally unacceptable.
Medical staff need to get the opportunity to vent, I totally agree. They have a hard job and they face misery and pain on a daily basis. They take care of their patients and do whatever is in their power to assist when needed. They need a way to vent in order to go home and relax. I get that. This was not the right place. It was wrong and it still is wrong. This is NOT OKAY!
13 comments
Comments feed for this article
October 27, 2017 at 6:00 pm
Cathy Van de Moortele
Thank you Renza. We all need to stand up and defend our peers.
LikeLike
October 27, 2017 at 6:31 pm
Jenny
Cathy has been let down by the hcp’s who are clearly lacking empathy and overall care. There is more to a person than their surgical procedure. The appointment she had was all about one section of the health care team -poor little diddums . Not near enough knowledge,empathy or understanding from any of the people from hospital, for people living with diabetes .
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 27, 2017 at 6:37 pm
Cathy Van de Moortele
Thank you Jenny. This was not the first prejudice against people with diabetes and it won’t be the last. We need to stand up more often.
LikeLike
October 28, 2017 at 12:08 am
C. Millar
Shocking. I thought that sort of ignorance only existed among healthcare “professionals” here in the U.S.
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 28, 2017 at 12:34 am
Cathy Van de Moortele
I’m sorry to hear that. We are fortunate that there are plenty of HCP’s who do act in a professional and understanding way, without belittling someone or making fun of them. Thank you for your reply.
LikeLike
October 28, 2017 at 10:11 am
meltwicediabetes
Sadly this sort of attitude is quite common as far as I can tell. My non-diabetic sister heard almost those same words, in a social situation from a vascular surgeon. He said words to the effect that “Amputating the leg of a diabetic who smokes is better than having to tell some poor woman she has breast cancer”
I have met this guy and he isn’t a monster, it seems to me to be not a lack of empathy (after all he was empathetic towards breast cancer, which also has lifestyle factors) but a sort of vicious judgementalism towards diabetes that is inculcated in medical professionals and becomes normal.
As you say this is not OK.
As an aside I have seen similar judgmentalism towards those with complications from more than 1 or 2 people with diabetes. I get that this is probably related to their own fears, but this isn’t OK either.
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 29, 2017 at 5:59 pm
Cathy Van de Moortele
Thank you for your nice words. Your last remark I totally agree with as well. Very sad.
LikeLike
October 29, 2017 at 5:06 pm
GB
I watched the most wonderful TED talk by surgeon Peter Attia and he talks about his prejudice in a similar situation. Its clear from his speech that he’s come a long way (he actually breaks down into tears as he recounts his lack of empathy).
I wont spoil it – do yourself a favour and watch:
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 29, 2017 at 5:59 pm
Cathy Van de Moortele
Hi
This is a very strong video. I saw it some time ago and it gave me goosebumps. Forgot all about it. Thanks for sharing it.
LikeLike
October 30, 2017 at 11:45 am
Rick Phillips
As I read this I heard about a relative (my wife’s cuoisins’ husband) who is having an awful time with a foot ulcer. As a T2 he is having a very difficult time understanding how feet and d are connected. I am certain a person saying this to him would not help, it would be a serious setback. People deserve much better.
LikeLike
October 30, 2017 at 6:16 pm
Cathy Van de Moortele
Thank you for understanding.
LikeLike
November 1, 2017 at 10:57 am
sewnbyelizabeth
Cathy, thank you for sharing your story and for being a brilliant ally to this man, to others living with diabetes, and all persons receiving medical attention who deserve to be treated with respect.
LikeLike
November 9, 2017 at 7:41 pm
Cathy Van de Moortele
Hi Elizabeth, we are all in this together and we need to stand up and support one another. Thank you for your comment, it warms my heart. Stay strong.
LikeLike