Accomplishments big and small – co-existing

It’s Diabetes Blog Week thanks to Bitter~Sweet Diabetes. This week, over 150 diabetes bloggers from all over the world are taking part and sharing stories about their lives with diabetes. This is the second year I’ve participated and I can’t wait to read what everyone else is up to. So, here we go with Thursday‘s topic……

It’s very easy when we’re talking about our accomplishments with diabetes to think only of the ‘big stuff’. Yesterday, I wrote about the day my daughter was born and when it comes to diabetes achievements, that day and the nine months leading up to it get a huge tick.

But I think that for me the greatest achievement has been learning to live side-by-side with this condition. It took me a while to understand where diabetes fit into my life and it wasn’t until after I’d actually accepted that I needed to grieve for the life that was that I realised that I could live, live well and be happy despite diabetes.

I am really pleased that I can honestly say that diabetes hasn’t stopped me from doing anything. I have never used it as an excuse (okay – those times I pushed in line at a cupcake shop don’t count, right?) and I have never felt that I should be pitied for having diabetes. It’s part of my lot in life and as crap as it can be at times, it’s become part of the fabric of my life.

I never thought that I’d be able to see diabetes as ‘just there’ rather than a big, scary thing that needed to be controlled. Perhaps it was when I gave up the need to micro-manage every aspect of living with a chronic health condition that I worked out how to co-exist with it. This absolutely doesn’t mean that I don’t hate it at times and wish it wasn’t there – of course I do. Accepting that it’s here forever was tough and made me angry for a while. And of course, I get frustrated and pissed off when it rears its stupid head when I just don’t have time for it, but that’s the nature of diabetes.

I can’t change the fact that my beta cells took a permanent holiday without me. I can’t change the fact that for the rest of my life I will be living with diabetes. I can’t change what’s around the corner – even though I can do what I can do try to minimise risks. I can’t change that there are no guarantees.

But I have accepted that it’s here. And I feel pretty proud of the life I am living because of and despite diabetes.

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