Yesterday afternoon, I made a mercy dash to the florist because I felt an overwhelming need to have some white flowers in the house. On our kitchen table, we now how a huge bunch of early cheer sending out the sweet fragrance of the promise of Spring, and in our bedroom is a bunch of pretty, delicate white roses.

Flowers and anniversaries go together, hand in hand – sometimes as a celebration. Other times to commemorate.

The last couple of weeks have been quite difficult for me as it’s the anniversary of my miscarriage. Twelve months ago today was the final in a series of operations I needed – I guess it represents the ‘closure’ of the pregnancy. The actual date of the miscarriage was two weekends ago, and it was a tough day for me. And today is also a difficult one.

Anniversaries – the good and the bad – are important to me and I like to mark them all in some way. Not everyone feels this way, but for me celebrations such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries, diaversaries, are significant and definitely should be recognised. This doesn’t necessary mean with grand gestures, but at least an acknowledgement. I also believe in commemorating the sad occasions.

Perhaps fortunately, it has been a very busy time at work, so I’ve not really been able to think too much about this particular anniversary. But in quiet moments, when I’ve been alone with my thoughts, the memory of what we lost and what could have been has occupied my mind.

This weekend I’m planning to take things a little easy. The flowers in our home will be a reminder not only of what happened, but also how far I’ve come in the last twelve months. Gently, gently, moving forward.