I’m travelling again today, so taking a break in my #IDF2019 recaps and publishing the latest in The Grumpy Pumper’s #WWGD (What Would Grumpy Do) series of posts. Today, he’s writing about searching for closure to move on from diabetes-related complications. 


This week I finally some feedback from the latest MRI scan on my foot. It’s something I’ve been waiting on for a long time: hoping to get the all clear from the bone infection finally.

The second ulcer (known as #FU2) healed over months ago and the clown shoes that I now have to wear have avoided a third (so far…). So getting the all clear would mean coming off what is cumulatively over a year of antibiotics and give me closure. A way to move on.

The problem is, I didn’t get that closure.

I got told that I can stop the antibiotics, which is fantastic. It really is. But when I asked ‘So the bone infection is totally gone then?’ I got the reply, ‘Well, I assume the consultant wouldn’t have taken you off the pills if it wasn’t’.

And this is true. But I need to hear the words: ‘The infection is gone.’ Without it, I have no closure.

Whilst I’m a fairly reflective kind of guy I need absolutes to settle my brain. Last time, when I was told that the first ulcer was healed, I also had the IV line taken out. Two quite emotional things for me, (which being me, I hid from others), as I felt that closure I need.

This time I feel in limbo; a sense of being unsure if this chapter has closed.

So, what would Grumpy do? #WWGD

Firstly, I have to know.

There is no way that I can just leave it at that. I’ve asked for the consultant to call me. He’s of course busy so he may not have time. If he doesn’t, I’ll ask if he can attend my next appointment. If he can’t then I’ll go find him for a quick chat, never wanting to take up his time but I have to know.

There is a huge and underestimated psychological impact of being diagnosed, having long-term treatment for, and living with diabetes-related complications. Closure on this chapter is what I need to help me deal with that.

Secondly, I will continue to manage my risk of further ulcers. I’ll wear the clown shoes; attend my now lifelong monthly appointments; do my daily foot checks.

And finally, I will continue to try and get people to #TalkAboutComplications with #LangageMatters in mind. There is too much blame, shame and stigma around this. I have experienced it and I don’t want other to have to. If nothing else I’m a stubborn old man and I never give up on something that’s important to me…

Live long and bolus

Grumps

You can get more from The Grumpy Pumper by checking out his blog here. And following him on Twitter here